You gotta fight for your right to vote!

In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.

Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

I want to live fast and die young.

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

I write with the entire alphabet, not just the popular letters.Readers don't want to lose themselves in the text. They want to find themselves in it.

Even in death she was more beautiful to him than she ever was alive.

Civility, politeness, it's like a cement in a society: binds it together. And when we lose it, then I think we all feel lesser and slightly dirty because of it.

The ant is knowing and wise, but he doesn't know enough to take a vacation.

Say to yourself: The world is full of money. Some of it has my name on it. All I have to do is collect it.

Give me a wave I can ride upon, come and show your strength to me.

Don't waste even a minute magnifying your perceived inadequacies. You can't do it all. Why berate yourself for not achieving the impossible?

..though silence must add intensity to your intimate moments, it must also shrivel your soul to lie beside someone who doesn't talk to you.

I consider myself a leader of this football team, along with a lot of other guys.

You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.