You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

Are you willing to follow [Christ] with a disciplined mind and tongue?

We don't need wings to be angelsWe don't need reasons to be rightYour love makes us all betterThat who we really areAngels and heroes at heart

I'd found him, and he was mine - cute little bugger that he was, messed up glasses, funky shoes and all.

I've always really been a romantic at heart, and I have always wanted kids, and I think the idea of sharing your life with the right person is amazing, actually.

My heart is in the Church of England but not my mind.

As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.

There are two things necessary to Salvation.... Money and gunpowder.

If we've seen one thing from Donald Trump, it's that he says one thing one day, and another thing another.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday.

It is often said that in Ireland there is an excess of genius unsustained by talent; but there is talent in the tongues.