You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

When we love something we never give up.

That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.

It's hard to imagine hate that I am facing from allover the world yet I am not alone with mistakes.

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal ours is apathetic.

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.

By virtue of exchange, one man's prosperity is beneficial to all others.

I'm not a philosopher. I am the next thing to a jock, which is a novelist.

The more intentional you are about your leadership growth, the greater your potential for becoming the leader you're capable of being. Never stop learning.

I have often been asked what I wanted to prove by my photographs. The answer is, I don’t want to prove anything. They prove to me, and I am the one who gets the lesson.

To resolve such conflicts peacefully in our interdependent - or what I would like to call our intra-interdependent - world requires not just well-chosen words but sustained and unified action.