You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Competition is the death of art.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Create delusion. Establish doubt. Feed paranoia.

Living a life changing kingdom principles is a life that is worth living

There is no advancement to him who stands trembling because he cannot see the end from the beginning.

We want to be able to sell you anything, anywhere, any time you want it.

So while you're trying to improvise, you're also trying to puppeteer, you're doing everything that you need to do to perform a puppet in our style, for a camera.

The difference [God's] timelessness makes is that this now (which slips away from you even as you say the word now) is for Him infinite.

I'm an artist, a designer, a craftsman, interior designer, half-architect. There's no one name that fits me very well.

I think I invented the phrase 'Don't overdo it.'

Presumption is our natural and original malady. The most vulnerable and frail of all creatures is man, and at the same time the most arrogant.

Look what Disney's done to their animation department. There wasn't an animator in charge of their animation unit!