You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

I'm beginning to appreciate the value of naps. Naps are wonderful, aren't they? Sometimes now I have to take a nap to get ready for bed.

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.

I used to be a virgin, but I gave it up because there was no money in it.

People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.

There is no real light but just small sparks of happiness we should photograph to contain. But if we stop to photograph, we can’t enjoy them, the flash overexposes them and they disappear.

It is much easier to focus on what you like than on what you dislike.

A skilled listener can help people tap into their own wisdom.

To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients - care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication.

I'm good at killing, I'm known as a bullfighter who kills well, and that I can kill well, that I can compete technically with my male peers in my technique in killing, gives me satisfaction.

I never went after character payments. I'm pretty much terrible at naming characters, so I usually name them after people I know.

I made 22 million in 14 years... with taxes, and travel and everything else, it gets blown out the window... which is why I still need to work.

David Sedaris wrote in one of his books that people like to make children into little grown-ups, which to him is about as funny as a dog in sunglasses.

I'm too intellectual. I don't think that the theological vocabulary is as important as the experience.