You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Inspiration comes of working every day.

How we talk effects our lives in two very important ways. It shows how we think of others and how we think of ourselves. The fascinating thing is they always run together.

It was definitely a rare situation where a career had started and ended simultaneously on a very high note.

Keyholes are the occasions of more sin and wickedness, than all other holes in this world put together.

It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.

The road through grief is a rocky one. Traveling along it requires courage, patience, wisdom, and hope.

What is stronger, fear or hope?

Jesus, man. Why do people want to be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spider-Man?

Despite the boredom of the infinity, we want life not shorter than the eternity!

Genuine kindness is not what we do, it is what we are.