You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you're stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, 'Hey, you're great! What's your name again?'

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

If you stop learning, you soon forget what you already know.

Those who find courage to pursue their dreams, manifest gladness of the soul.

I can push them away, fight them, or ignore them but family is something you can never get rid of.

She needed intimacy and a sense of partaking in, not just observing, real life.

Undressing myself had no fun in it, now I had undressed her.

Strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age.

I'm a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love.

My own interest in basic aspects of electron transfer between metal complexes became active only after I came to the University of Chicago in 1946.

Whatever God has brought about Is to be borne with courage.

Midas-eared Mammonism, double-barrelled Dilettantism, and their thousand adjuncts and corollaries, are not the Law by which God Almighty has appointed this His universe to go.