You have to do well on third downs.

The worst thing in the world is to feel like people turn on the TV and say, oh god, it's that guy again. I'm trying to avoid that.

I think by its very nature, it's redundant, you know, being the play-by-play guy on television.

Five years ago, I wasn't getting questions [about blogs and the internet] from the TV/radio critic of the New York Times.

And Johnny Manziel is only in a snickers commercial.

If you're the play-by-play announcer, I think it's your job to be better than just saying what's on people's TV screen.

I actually called a touchdown on national TV in the NFL while going to the bathroom.

Every time you see kid and hear kid, you think, man, I have to not sound like a kid.

You know what you gotta do cowboy?

We all fell in love with the young Macaulay Culkin, back in the day

I was always a 'grass is greener' kind of guy.

The tragic irony in all of this is that when we focus so strongly on our need to get better, we actually get worse.

There is something about gin, the tang in it of the deep wildwood, perhaps, that always makes me think of twilight and mists and dead maidens. Tonight it tinkled in my mouth like secret laughter.

A wild thing may say wild things.

And I think belief is one of those things that comes to people in their own way. And just because I believe in something doesn't mean I think that you should.

There are people who have benefited from therapy without being confronted with the past at all.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?

If you would stick to the concrete, and put your discoveries in the form of entertaining anecdotes about your adventures with women, your conversation would be easier to follow.

It'll always be easier to fight others if you reduce them to a single word or look at them just one way.

Before, by yourself, you couldn't. Now, you've turned to our Lady, and with her, how easy!