You have to get the second season by acquiescing to a third season.

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.

Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.

Jesus does not suffer so as to exclude your suffering. He bears a cross, not that you may escape it, but that you may endure it.

Proving himself to himself was no small matter.

Bronze is the mirror of form, wine of the heart.

Responsibility without power, the fate of the secretary through the ages.

We cannot choose where to start and stop. Our stories are the tellers of us.

Life change for us every single week so.. It's good but I know this aint the peak though.

With the way I dress, I think my personality shows, so I don't always have to talk. Someone can see what I'm wearing, see what socks I'm wearing, and see what my vibe is, what kind of person I am.

Count the day won, when the earth, turning on its axis, imposes no additional taxes

You have to stop thinking logically to argue that the universe came into being by itself, out of nothing.

In chess one cannot control everything. Sometimes a game takes an unexpected turn, in which beauty begins to emerge. Both players are always instrumental in this.