You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

I tried to kill myself when I was thirteen but failed. That was the greatest failure of my life.

I am utterly struck how, 300 years after his execution, Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire.

Every dog, we are told, has his day, unless there are more dogs than days.

I have so many things going on in my life that my mind is always in other places.

You know, I've had an incredible career and I'm blessed.

The most important part of life is work, it's the flow, it's getting stuff done, feeling like you're doing something.

The best time to buy a home is always five years ago.

Two went to pray? Better to say one went to brag, the other to pray.

I played pretty darn competitive-level hockey. Then the good old knee injury. Obviously, it's a blessing in disguise, but growing up Canadian, that's our religion, that's our football.

Capitalists are no more capable of self-sacrifice than a man is capable of lifting himself up by his own bootstraps.