You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

The finest clothes anyone can wear are a kind heart and a loving soul.

I'd rather be an unhappy principled man than a happy person with a lax conscience.

They say that we are better educated than our parents' generation. What they mean is that we go to school longer. They are not the same thing.

The work of art assumes the existence of the perfect spectator, and is indifferent to the fact that no such person exists.

I'm the wrong kind of person to be really big and famous.

To lay down one's life for the truth.

Nothing dries sooner than a tear.

Nolan Ryan helped me with baseball, and my dad passing away gave me a bigger heart.

I want to be successful. Not just money. Just making a successful record and a successful show... I could feel successful without selling a million records.