You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Darkness is the only place, where chaos and peace always met and fell in love with each other.

Never let the story beat you home.

The war brought some changes to Colombo. But it was the villages that changed far more than the towns.

The author says people are guilty of "wrecking the present because the future was bound to be a wreck.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

Cold prayers shall never have any warm answers.

We are fast moving toward an aristocracy of health.

When I get to China, I will have no claim on any one for anything. My claim will be alone in God and I must learn before I leave England to move men through God by prayer alone.

He look'd in years, yet in his years were seen A youthful vigor, and autumnal green.

When you've finished a piece of work you've had a kind of love affair with it.