You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Unrequited love is the infinite curse of a lonely heart.

My new elf husband wasted no time in carrying me to the bed, then tumbling us both onto the coverlet.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

Bottle, whose Mysterious Deep Do's ten thousand Secrets keep, With attentive Ear I wait; Ease my Mind, and speak my Fate.

For to pretend that men may live habitually sinful lives without any attempt by the Spirit to mortify sin in them, nor with any desire for repentance, is to deny the Christian religion.

Films are hard to make and I think the word indulge really leads one to believe that it's an easy sort of business and it's really extremely difficult.

Honest to God, Bill, the way things are going, all I can think of is that I'm a character in a book by somebody who wants to write about somebody who suffers all the time.

Believe it or not, that was the first time I recognized that in some ways she was just like the rest of us.

If it wasn't for me, I'd do brilliantly.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.