You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

One need not be a Chamber — to be Haunted — One need not be a House — The Brain has Corridors — surpassing Material Place —

Tea is just an excuse.i am drinking this sunset, this evening.and you.

The nicest thing about being lost is that you get rid of the fear of losing your path!

I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.

There were a zillion bad jobs. That doesn't exist any more. I mean, I could wake up one afternoon with zero money and know that by the end of the day, I would have money.

I was neurotic and weird from an early age.

I wanted to write about Afghanistan before the Soviet war because that is largely a forgotten period in modern Afghan history.

Speaking in tongues is not enough.If we turn men from unchristian religions to christianity we must produce miracles which convince men that Christ lives and He is real today.

The simple fact is that we must not-and we will not-surrender our borders to those who wish to exploit our history of compassion and justice.

It is my belief, you cannot deal with the most serious things in the world unless you understand the most amusing.