You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open TWO jars! I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars... cltaning, who KNOWS how many knives!?

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.

A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.

The big yellow one is the sun!

I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents. That surprised me, I was like Mom did you read this?

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.

I hate getting off the elevator on the wrong floor? Anyone ever do that... and then you have to turn around and face those people. I feel like I owe everyone in there an explanation.

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?

Did you ever face Death and let it stare back at you right in the Eyes? ☥

Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong.

One day I have to wake up and realize that you are gone.

Boys are idiots.Girls are idiots, too, of course, but boys are a special kind of

Why do you want to touch me? I'm nothing. I'm no one.

I'm a girl."When Deryn opened her eyes, the lady boffin was staring at her with no change of expression. "Indeed, " she

Nothing is incidental.

To discuss evil in a manner implying neutrality, is to sanction it.

The present hour is always wealthiest when it is poorer than the future ones, as that is the pleasantest site which affords the pleasantest prospect.

Of all facial expressions, which is the worst to have aimed at you? Wouldn't you agree it's disgust?