You know how I play it, better safe than sorry 'stead of searching for substance at every single party.

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection

Tables turn, bridges burn, you live and learn.

No matter how dirty your past is, your future is still spotless.

Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in life, not to change things but just to feel things twice

Guess you lose some & win some, long as the outcome is income.

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.

Crazy how you gotta wait until it's dark out to see who really with you.

Over time you realize that some people just aren't worth it anymore.

Never say that you regret something, because at one point in your life, you wanted it.

If I retire doing the character, I don't think the character has to retire. There will still be caricatures of Elvira. You know, Dracula still works, and he's dead.

Rock is my child and my grandfather.

Fundamental analysis seeks to establish how underlying values are reflected in stock prices, whereas the theory of reflexivity shows how stock prices can influence underlying values

There’s no slowing down as the globe spins ‘round and ‘round. You gotta keep going.

Who would I be, if other good souls did not make up for my shortcomings?

The thing I'll remember most about the flight is that it was fun. In fact, I'm sure it was the most fun that I'll ever have in my life.

I fell out of the hammock while I was sleeping. (Arik) On your head? (Geary) Apparently. Good thing it’s hard, huh? (Arik)

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred.

Everything I talk about in stand-up is my experiences as an American, as a father, as a husband, as a black man, as a human being.