You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Facts are stubborn things.

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.

We are like the birds. We adapt. We sing.

I want to be like Ben Folds. Everyone loves his music, but you could be sitting next to him on a plane and never know it." "I would much rather people know my music than know my name.

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

Ignorance is servitude, because as a man thinks, so he is; a man who does not think for himself and allows himself to be guided by the thought of another is like the beast led by a halter.

Cézanne made a cylinder out of a bottle. I start from the cylinder to create a special kind of individual object. I make a bottle a particular bottle out of a cylinder.

President Obama vowed in his State of the Union address to make assisting domestic manufacturers a top priority for his second term.

Obviously, overall infrastructure needs on the Southwest and Northern borders are mounting. We need a major push in Congress to remedy this.

Nature...cannot be fooled!