You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Everyday she loses a bit more of herself, every day another nail in her coffin house payments medical bills and middle aged isolation

When you find yourself surrounded by sane people excited about your idea and lending support, you realize, perhaps, you are not as crazy as you think you are

The rooms that are lived in are the ones we find most comforting.

I actually wear two fragrances. It's a layered mystery.

When I was younger, my dad did want me to be perfect, so that's probably why that's installed in me to this day. I want to be perfect at whatever I do. I can't help it. It's just installed in me.

Harris, I am not well; pray get me a glass of brandy.

When Obama was inaugurated, he and his team had an insight - though whether the insight was conscious or not I don't know. But it was this: The TARP $700 billion price tag was a new kind of model.

When the mind no longer sees itself as a body, forever in bondage to the body, the mind can be free and at peace even when we are physically sick.

I think one of my biggest strengths overall is staying in the moment.

It is comparatively easy to leave a mistress, but very hard to be left by one.