You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

What you believe and hold close to your heart, you will become.

A kiss is a lusty dollop of dessert to be served with desire and savored with passion.

To be able to thank Allah for a blessing is a blessing within itself.

Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance.

I don't work on a project unless I believe that it will dramatically improve life for a bunch of people.

Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.

When anything can happen, everything matters.

Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.

It's an act of faith to be a writer in a postliterate world.