You know that things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they'll presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you.

The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

Record stores can't save your life. But they can give you a better one.

It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like.

I suddenly had a little epiphany: all the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal.

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.

It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Radio football is football reduced to its lowest common denominator.

The irony of life is that those who wear masks often tell us more truths than those with open faces.

Complaining is truly my strongest weakness.

You say you are a poet of law

Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me.

Alcohol is for drinking, gas is for cleaning parts, and nitro is for racing!

My skin is more beautiful than yours. I would be quite more popular in jail if I so chose.

The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.

Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.

A 'living constitution' is a dead constitution, because it does not do the one and only thing a written constitution is supposed to do: provide parameters around the power of officials.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.