You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.

It is always the soul and brain that really matters

Act out being alive, like a play. And after a while, a long while, it will be true.

What keeps me up at night is poverty and unemployment.

I know you left me once, but I came right back to find you. Even though I like being in your past, you got a bright future behind you.

While nothing is more uncertain than a single life, nothing is more certain than the average duration of a thousand lives.

I also find doing the mundane, everyday things in life has a calming, creative influence on me. Some of my best ideas come when I'm vacuuming or waiting in lines.

I would be a fool to deny my own abilities.

I think abortion is something that, as a personal matter, I would advise somebody against.

Never give up hope! Hope ultimately succeeds.

I remember when I did Little Women, I didn't watch the Katharine Hepburn one over and over, which I thought I would do. Heathers, I was completely obsessed with.