You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

The only thing that is limiting me and you from attaining anything in life is what we know or what we don’t know.

You are my blessing. Not because you make me smile but because you made my heart happy.

I have been sometimes way too attracted by my own villains because in a way they seem to hold the secret to the heart of the narrative.

Culture is public, because meaning is

I would say that there is no future for literary studies as such in the United States.

A smile goes a long way, but you must first start it on its journey.

You can't hoot with the owls and then soar with the eagles

When you understand that your self-worth is not determined by your net-worth, then you'll have financial freedom

The biggest research of all when I do a character is self-examination. You look at yourself and you ask, 'How am I similar to this person and how am I different?'

There are so many great galleries and museums in London, but they can be very crowded during the day.