You know what Ken Lay had for breakfast this morning? Shredded Wheat.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

He takes my hand and says, 'Let's make a world.

One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed...

No nation can truly develop unless fanaticism, primitive superstitions and metaphysical non-sense are eradicated.

Is not it interesting that you had everything you needed in the first nine months, why is not that true for the next ninety years, because we interfere.

The opinions of others should not deter you from being yourself..

The questions people have are sometimes soulful, sometimes zany, sometimes incoherent. I want to make a 'zine with just the questions I get emailed to me.

I believe in salvation through economic, social, and spiritual freedom.

I pick up the New York Times or Time and it's talking about the latest rock group, which I'm sure is exciting to some people, but it neglects a huge area of music.

I had this feeling that he and I , in this moment, were a car crash, and instead of putting on the brakes, I was hitting the accelerator.

We must be contented to amuse, when we cannot inform.