You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The walls that caged me were not of this world, but were within my mind.

My life isn't perfect and it will never be I make mistakes, I learn from them and keep moving forward.

The man died inside cannot live outside. ‪

If this be to have sense, if to be awake Be but to see this bright, great sleep of things, For the rarer potion mine own dreams I'll take And for truth commune with imaginings

The further you get from nature, the less happy you are; and the nearer, the more exultant you become over the world and all that there is in it.

Once you attach your personality to a proposition, people start reacting to the personality and stop reacting to the proposition.

If you want to experience miracles, you have to believe before seeing.

I became the voice of a generation in a very surprising way, because many Iranians recognize themselves in it. But that is not what I wanted.

Man learned to resort to the dance when he felt helpless or fragmentary, when he felt dislocated in his universe.

Eat as much as you like-just don't swallow it.