You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

And now about the cauldron singLike elves and fairies in a ring, Enchanting all that you put in.

A theory is like medicine (or government): often useless, sometimes necessary, always self-serving, and on occasion lethal. So it needs to be used with care, moderation and close adult supervision.

It was as simple as walking and as hard as walking on with so far gone and so far yet to go.

Dancing is the poetry of the foot.

In today's regulatory environment, it's virtually impossible to violate rules.

Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.

Poor countries are poor because they are wasting their resources.

I don't get discouraged because of the comments. After all, they don't really know me.

In art intentions are not sufficient and, as we say in Spanish, love must be proved by deeds and not by reasons. What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing.

a fair degree of literacy of speech ... is increasingly rare in politicians and not necessarily regarded as an asset.