You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

We are too prone to make technological instruments the scapegoats for the crimes of those who wield them. The products of modern science are not in themselves good or bad

Are ya glad to see me, or is that a roll of poker chips in your pants?

If you want to look after your shadow, you just have to look after yourself, that will do!

Painting is a solitary act for me; I don't need anyone around to make paintings.

Relationships help us to define who we are and what we can become. Most of us can trace our successes to pivotal relationships.

And I talked to my doctor, and I must admit, you know, I'm sometimes quite renowned for my outbursts and I was just very frustrated, maybe a little frightened.

The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast, and you miss all you are traveling for.

The best way to know God's will is to be familiar with the Bible.

Be not too hasty either with praise or blame; speak always as though you were giving evidence before the judgement-seat of the Gods.

Sabotage is like, so satisfying.