You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

What is the difference between a dream and its memory?

ONE of the things we can learn from the devil is his perseverance in pursuing us. HE NEVER gives up.

The Bible contains more knowledge necessary to man in his present state than any other book in the world.

Assurance encourateth us in our combat; it delivers us not from it. We may have peace with God when we have done from the assaults of Satan.

We are the strongest filter we can place before the lens. We point the lens both outward and inward.

Ideal legislators do not vote their interests.

Tact is kind; diplomacy is useful; euphemism is harmless and sometimes entertaining

I think Steve Jobs is my idol.

It is important to remember that for every person, there will be a problem. Even more importantly, for every problem, our God has a prescription!