You know what they say, when one door closes, another Belvedere opens.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Compassion is the signature of Higher Consciousness. Non-violence is the tool to evolve into the Higher Consciousness.

Grief is a curious thing, when it happens unexpectedly. It is a Band-aid being ripped away, taking the top layer off a family. And the underbelly of a household is never pretty, ours no exception.

Basketball, like all sports, is predicated on the execution of fundamentals. The coach is a teacher. His subject: fundamentals

Oh am I late? No, I already graduated And you can live through anything if Magic made it They say I talk with so much emphasis Ooh they so sensitive

I'm not really the quiet type, although some people think I am. But I'm the rebel type in the sense that I don't think I'm like everyone else. I try to be an individual.

Anyone who has got a book collection/library and a garden wants for nothing.

Make changes in your life; don't wear the same roads out, start walking on the new paths!

I love ballet and I love dancing...... It's a little boring for me to go to the gym because I'm used to the dancing discipline - It's really hard, but much more fun.

My mother was the prettiest woman in the town. He was a bit older than her. They made me. And he split.

We have a unique opportunity to unite America, urban and rural, coastal and midwestern, red and blue, under the banner of a truly unifying national effort. We can start right now.