You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Music has more rules than math or magic and it's twice as dangerous as both or either.

I've always thought if you watch the performance and you don't know about the person, then you only see the performance.

We need wealthy dogs off the seats of power. They're taking us back to feudalism and I really don't want that. But I'm very far from being a socialist.

Everyone has a price.

Her wish to die was as pervasive as a dial tone: you lift the receiver, it's always there.

In the various stages of development which the struggle of working class against the bourgeoisie has to pass through, they always and everywhere represent the interests of the movement as a whole.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

Fantasy is, I believe, the great nourisher of imagination. To paraphrase Einstein on how to develop intelligence in young people: Read fairy tales. Then read more fairy tales.

The people of our city are holding on by a thread. Time has run out. Can we survive another night? And who can we depend on? Only God knows.

A man who attempts to read all the new productions must do as the flea does,--skip.