You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have sheds full of things, maybe sometimes nine copies of the same thing.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Our brains want God even as our minds debunk the divine.

I Think, Therefore I Am ... I Think ...

Find a great mentor who believes in you, your life will change forever!

Prose talks and poetry sings.

This is a world of unhappy beings. They don't understand how simple it is to be happy. You just have to practice meditation. To meditate is to be happy.

Every man of humane convictions must decide on the protest that best suits his convictions, but we must all protest.

You shall find this to be God's usual course: not to give his children the taste of his delights till they begin to sweat in seeking after them.

here are some homosexuals whom we would do well to take seriously.

If you are capable people are happy to play with you.