You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Reflections they give meThat my mirror does notThey know the new meNot the old meThat I am not

Whoever's calm and sensible is insane!

In the political context fair means somebody that will vote for the unions or for the business. It can't mean that in the judicial context or we're in real trouble.

When I wrote the song, The Way It Is, I wanted to move people to take a stand on civil rights in this country.

Atheism leads to numerous absurdities promoted by otherwise intelligent people.

I believe that we are all, openly or secretly, struggling against one or another kind of nihilism.

I cannot imagine why my vision will have some value in the world..and yet I know it will..I think I will count because I am patient and recueilli (contemplative) in some degree.

When I very first started out, I had that arrogance of youth.

I don't hate nobody. I hate certain conditions that are inflicted upon the people - and they're helpless with it.

I have Van Gogh's ear for music