You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

As far as I am concerned, philosophic questioning is just as likely to make you confused and depressed as it is to improve your condition.

A translator must, of course, be an interpreter of cultures.

A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.

To me, part of the beauty of a comma is that it offers a rest, like one in music: a break that gives the whole piece of music greater shape, deeper harmony. It allows us to catch our breath.

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

Even Photoshop couldn't change me.

Sometimes when things you love get really commercial, you end up feeling betrayed by it.

Im just a lipgloss, blush and mascara kind of girl. I like playing with a bright lipstick or a heavy eye... But not together!

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.

You have to let the big ones make up for your mistakes.