You know you can't just run and shoot people in the knee-caps with double barreled shotgun 'cause you're pissed at them.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!

All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of their masterpiece.

Anything you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten.

The advice I would give to someone is to not take anyone’s advice.

You can't let the good things people say make you feel too good, because you're going to let the bad things make you feel bad.

If you're an artist like a really, really long time, it stops being a performance. I'm not performing anymore. I reveal myself to the audience... I show you some of me. It's not a show no more.

How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? Hey baby lets dance... cya later!

I've always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.

The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people

I started out as an impressionist and that’s all about observing, how people move, their voice quality, their attitudes and quirks.

All your life people will tell you things. And most of the time, probably ninety-five percent of the time, what they'll tell you will be wrong.

Negro Slavery is an evil of Colossal magnitude and I am utterly averse to the admission of Slavery into the Missouri Territories.

The ability to lie, paired with unaccountability, has made a near infinite amount of liabilities.

One of these days some simple soul will pick up the book of God, read it, and believe it. Then the rest of us will be embarrassed.

I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly, I don't know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.

Mercy detached from justice grows unmerciful.

Are you OK?" I asked. "I think so." Logan stared at me, and a smile pulled up his lips. "But maybe you should give me mouth-to-mouth, just to make sure.

When she needed help most, she was abandoned.

'Family Guy''s got a strong fanbase, man, like no other. It's great. Everywhere around the world, it's pretty amazing. It's amazing that people love 'Family Guy' as much as they do. It's great.

When I die, there will be people who send flowers to Ethel Mertz.