You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

If a nation blames other nations for its problems, most likely that nation will always be having problems.

When you keep seeking to improve, you will never get bored with your craft.

Life enslaves the poor by giving them problems that money can resolve, or, dissolve

being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way.

People are content to live in contradictory worlds, so long as they know the reason for each.

We can think for ourselves and we can awaken the world to a greater consciousness.

Grief is a very scary thing, and there comes a point where it can really take you down.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take.

That's one of the great things about acting - you get to pretend you're somebody else, which is great if you get bored with yourself.

I enrich myself by telling others to give to me so they can bribe God to get what they want.