You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

curiosity did not kill the cat

You'll see some bad things, but if you didn't see them, they'd still be happening.

We are all born with a divine fire in us. Our efforts should be to give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness.

Starch makes the gentleman, etiquette the lady.

I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.

If there's one thing that Trump does, he never quits.

At 6 years old I knew there was no place for me.

I think the best shortcut is to choose really simple recipes. Because I think you can make simple recipes that are as delicious as complicated ones.

The essence of spirituality is, to be constantly aware of the oneness of all; at the same time to celebrate the uniqueness of the individual.

Facing the kitsch aesthetic is the unfathomable world of myths.