You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Love yourself first to be loving and beloved.

If God could run out of grace, He would’ve for me by now. And yet every morning I wake up, He says, “There is more, there is still more.

WRITE YOUR BUSINESS PLAN ON A DOORMAT

Don't worry when you're being persecuted for God, worry when you're not.

What has changed is that when I photographed, most people that I photographed didn't have the right of refusal on their work. It would take a Marilyn Monroe at her height to be able to dictate that.

I'm grateful for all the attention because it validates I'm doing something.

To be accurate, write; to remember, write; to know thine own mind, write. And a written prayer is a prayer of faith, special, sure, and to be answered.

It is not through judgment that the good in people can be reached, but through love and faith.

Union gives strength to the humble.

I worked around cattle all my life and I guess I learned all there is to know about it, and I think I can sum it all up in one thing: You can't drink coffee on a running horse.