You look like a horse in a man costume

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Passions cannot take wings in adversity, and adversities remain prevalent because of dormant passions.

The graveyard is an everlasting resting place.

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers for each rage leaves him less than he had been before-it takes something from him.

There are boys so enraptured by love that they can't get their hearts to slow down enough to get some rest, and other boys so damaged by love that they can't stop picking at their pain.

He that overcometh shall inherit all things. God has no poor children.

My drawings have to be quick. If they don't happen in 20 minutes or a half hour, then they're no good.

He knows which fighters to steal, how to exploit anyone's vice, vanity or insecurity and make a profit for himself.

A massive campaign must be launched to de-develop the United States… [we] must design a stable, low-consumption economy.

The best work I can do is to take myself as much as I can out of it and get it as simple as I can.

I'm here, got no choice. But you, you should be telling people.