You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.

The memories of you are dead in my mind, but alive in my heart.

Handcuffs weigh much more than gravestones.(from "Gratitude")

A stock is not just a ticker symbol or an electronic blip; it is an ownership interest in an actual business, with an underlying value that does not depend on its share price.

Le moi est ha|«s sable. The self is hateful.

I like the little bit of distance that London affords me and I like living in a world capital. I like having the culture at my fingertips.

Perfectionism is not as much the desire for excellence, as it is the fear of failure couched in procrastination .

The church has been planted as a paradise in this world.

somtimes people say that you can not live your dreams. sometimes people say that you can not sell out madison square garden. well this is what i tell them-NEVER SAY NEVER

When we put our keys down, we should be conscious of putting them down. When we pick them up, we should be conscious of picking them up. That's all there is to zen.