You may marry the man of your dreams ladies but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance.

Actors are one family over the entire world.

I'm not a firm believer of "mo' money mo' problems" - I think that's stupid. I think it's that problems are already there that can be exacerbated by more things you don't understand.

I've always looked at shoes as being immensely beautiful things.

Looking foolish does the spirit good.

A world I dream where black or white, Whatever race you be, Will share the bounties of the Earth And every man is free.

First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Cannot we let [children] be themselves, and enjoy life in their own way? You are trying to make another you. One's enough.

All men desire their own perfect adjustment, but they desire it, being finite men, on their own terms.

Those that do teach young babes Do it with gentle means and easy tasks.