You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

She laughed and said not to confuse pride with nobleness.

From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots.

I know it sounds stupid and cliche, but I just want to get better. I want to keep improving.

I'm only here for a while, so I'd like to do what I can.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

I just wanna learn and I wanna grow. I wanna consume as much information as possible. I wanna be great.

Show business is a great place to fail upward... and I guess that's what I've done.

My approach is I put God first; I say "God willing" all the time. The only way things will change is with God. So knowing that I can't really change anything, I'm just going to satire it.

Love's never a fair trade.

The patient in the bed next to me told me that the newspapers were reporting on the test, and it was on television all day long.