You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

The professor, instead of being the "sage on the stage," functions as a "guide on the side."

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.

For "full" emotional communication, one person needs to allow his state of mind to be influenced by that of the other.

Just as a chariot is verbalized, in dependence on collections of parts, so conventionally a sentient being, is set up depending on the mental and physical aggregates

Atheists think the devil is just a silly as God is.

that expression you get in your eyes when you are very tired and everything is like a dream and you are starting to know what things are like underneath what people say they are.

As a writer I'm more drawn to villains who are just slightly mad.

I know for certain that miracles happen, but only for those who hang on to hope.

Tough boys running the streets, come a little closer. Rough toys under the sheets, nobody knows her.

Too much information is rather deadening.