You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

If you look at it, life is like one big series of lessons, that starts the moment we are born.

In my opinion, right up there with free public schools, our free public library system is what makes citizenship possible, even what makes America great.

I think a good role model has to be sexy. Real, empowered, self-possessed women are sexy. When you're really in control of your choices, your mood, your body, and your opinions, people find you sexy.

Most women at some point or many points in their lives will have to deal with an unwanted advance and having the confidence to be "rude" and say no is an important skill to develop.

I needed to address that I've had some profound moral shifts in my own life.

Our moods and insights are transitory. This current is a flow of grace moving us to our right livelihood, companions, destiny.

We waltzed Lisztlessly.

Childhood is not a state which only applies to the first phase of our lives in the biological sense. Rather it is a basic condition which is always appropriate to a life that is lived aright.

I've had times where I walked up to the line, where I know the play, but don't know what to do.

No hero is mortal till he dies.