You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

We all must face death and walk with it. But we also must love and live in it.

If you've ever been there, you've never forgotten. The feeling is as haunting and familiar as the smell of a junior high school locker room.

Beauty doesn't matter because in the end, we all lose our looks and all we have is our heart.

There is an ocean of Gods love available-there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love-whatever the circumstances.

America is a country no one should go to for the first time.

A novel should be an experience and convey an emotional truth rather than arguments.

I have one passion. It is He, only He.

At school, nobody thought I was smart and I became smart. Nobody wanted to be my friend and then I had lots of friends.

Everything comes to us in fifteen-second sound bites and photo opportunities. All possibility for ambiguity - the most precious trait of any adequate analysis - is erased.

There are times ... when any visitor - in person, by phone, by mail - is an intruder, a burglar, a space hogger, an oxygen taker, a chaos maker, a conflict inducer, a mood chaser, and a total drag.