You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Sometimes I'm in a mood like a Maths problem such as "If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats".

This is not a political issue. I know Florida's leadership has talked about a real commitment to helping our veterans. Now it's time for them to show it.

I'm quite a curious person. I don't mind being the one who doesn't know things, a role I often play in QI.

Develop your eccentricities while you are young. That way, when you get old, people won't think you're going gaga.

Since trifles make the sum of human things, And half our misery from our foibles springs.

Imagination has to do with one's awareness of the reality of other people as well as of one's own reality. Imagination is a bridge between the provincialism of the self and the great world.

A righteous man hates lying, But a wicked man is loathsome and comes to shame.

Every little thing wants to be loved.

Why don’t the Grammys matter? Because it feels rigged and cheap - like a popularity contest that the insiders club has decided.