You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

There is no use indicting words, they are no shoddier than what they peddle.

I needed people to deliver my feelings back to me in a form that was legible. Which is a superlative kind of empathy to seek, or to supply: an empathy that rearticulates more clearly what it's shown.

The death of one god is the death of all.

I am an affirmative action hire.

I cried a river of tears but he was too heavy to float on them. So I dragged him with me these years across an ocean.

Just because you are famous and rich doesn't make you successful.

If you are strangers to prayer you are strangers to power.

I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.

I collect human relationships very much the way others collect fine art.