You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You need to bridge the gap between reality and freedom. Drugs are the bridge.

It could have happened lots of ways. But this is the way it happened. This is the path we took. This is our story.

I'm big on tomato mozzarella salad. That's my favorite all-time food.

You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.

A tree is our most intimate contact with nature.

It's the same story with a few crucial additions; the most important one is you.

I like to be in waiting rooms with people as they're auditioning, because their terror calms me.

Even if we forget the faces of our friends, we will never forget the bonds that were carved into our souls.

I won't show a picture where a person doesn't look beautiful.

A brave man's country is wherever he chooses his abode. [Lat., Patria est ubicumque vir fortis sedem elegerit.]