You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and world destruction?

Having no children had been a kind of choice up to the moment when, from a choice, it became a sadness.

There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car and it looks like it's going to come out an indecent picture, don't I have a right to object?

Every man is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing.

We were created to look at one another, weren't we?

These feelings you engender in me, my lord, are most indelicate. You should stop causing them immediately.

Every man is a potential rapist.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

Corporate culture matters. How management chooses to treat its people impacts everything - for better or for worse.

I feel the need... the need for speed.