You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Man is but lost in wishes, Of wealth, fame and riches, This airy castle he stitches, With logic that are his ditches.

...why, I've just this instant found out... that we might have gone around the world in only seventy-eight days.

One faces the future with one's past.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

No news at 4:30 a.m. is good.

Your misery is everyone else's entertainment.

Now, when I was in the Army, writing was my hobby.

I don't want to be a prisoner in a palace, living in such a constricted way - too tight!

As you die continually when living. So do you live continually when dead; if not in this body, then in a body of another form.

It's the scale that Yahoo brings - and that user base - that I really want to build products for.