You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

What I'm looking for is not out there, it is in me.

Empowerment comes from self-realization and recognition of our internal gifts, which we already have.

Admiration of great men, living or dead, naturally evokes imitation of them in a greater or less degree.

My friends have always called me 'Mr. Thorough,' in that when I get into something, I become obsessed with it.

I am fascinated with times past.

A good door needs no lock, still it can't be opened.

If he was lost for a moment, he would dive straight back into its honey.

You exist in time, but you belong to eternity.

That little white ball is always staring back at you, daring you to make a mistake.

Anything can happen in stock markets and you ought to conduct your affairs so that if the most extraordinary events happen, that you're still around to play the next day.