You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

He always thinks because I'm reading, I'm not doing anything. There is no greater plague to an introvert than the extroverted.

Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful or debase it into ugliness. It's in our hands.

We mothers of grown-up daughters tend to view them with a mixture of love, exasperation, irritation and awe.

We teach ourselves; Zen merely points the way.

The result of law inviolate is perfection–right–negative happiness. The result of law violate is imperfection, wrong, positive pain.

Easy enough to dismiss others' problems when you had none of your own.

I will be a role model for cancer patients for the rest of my life. But you know what? When I was getting chemo, those people inspired me.

The best people know that they should join a rocketship.

The habit of spending nearly every waking moment lost in thought leaves us at the mercy of whatever our thoughts happen to be. Meditation is a way of breaking this spell.

Good sportsmanship goes beyond the game; it starts with respect.